Intoxicating Closet Love
by LovelyKai
Summary: Chased into an awkward situation, Draco decides to make the best of it... Crack fic! Draco/Harry Lavender and Pansy bashing... sort of... :/


**Author Note~** Just so you guys know, me and my good buddy Capella don't take this story seriously at all. In anyway. ...Or shape. ...Or form. ;D ANNNYWAYSSS! This is set in the fifth movie, by the way. Capella would just like to say, that, _yes_ I _have_ seen the "Sasuke is Gay" video on Youtube... -.- stfu...

**Warning~** This is a Draco/Harry... sort of. Bad grammar and potty language. :D

* * *

**Intoxicating Closet Love**

Harry was walking down the corridor on his way to the Room of Requirement, when a shout from behind caught his attention.

"Oh, Harry-bear!" Lavender Brown chirped from the opposite end of big hallway.

Harry paused for a moment, recognizing the voice.

_Bloody hell, not her! Why can't she just be obsessed with Ron? _

He turned quickly, seeing her advancing faster. He pointed to random direction and yelled out, "What's that over there?"

Lavender, being as daft as she was, happily looked over.

"Ooh, what is it?"

With that, Harry high-tailed it towards the Room of Requirement, with thoughts of a hiding place on his mind.

* * *

Draco was casually walking down the hallway searching for Harry Potter and his fag-o friends under Umbridge's orders, when annoyingly familiar voice called out to him.

"Drackey-poo! There you are, love, I made you a cake!"

Draco didn't even look back, instead he ran to the nearest hallway and saw a very confused Lavender Brown; he sneered at her.

"Have you seen your newest obsession, Harry Potter?"

Lavender shook her head sadly. "No, my Harry-bear ran off somewhere. "

"Well, which way was he headed?"

"Um, it was that way." said Lavender, pointing in the direction behind her.

Without a word, Draco jogged off. After a few moments, he saw who he was looking for: Harry Potter.

"Hey, Potter! I-" Draco started before he was cut off by a high pitched voice.

"Harry-bear!" Lavender called. "Why'd you run away from me?"

Staring back at her, wide-eyed and horrified, Harry took off again with Draco hot on his heels.

Draco kept running unfazed, having totally expected the overbearing Lavender to run after her _Harry-bear_, however, when a nasally voice yelled a way too familiar pet name, he picked up his pace. He thought he heard Harry chuckle, before subtly motioning him to follow him into a room.

Draco picked up his pace, yet again, following Harry into the room, which turned out to be a rather small broom closet.

Leaning, ears to the door, Draco and Harry listened to the angry voices of their would-be captors.

* * *

"God damn it, not again!" yelled Pansy.

"Come on, I think they went that way." Said a rather peeved Lavender while walking down the hallway.

"What? What do you mean that they went 'this way'? We clearly saw them go in here." Pansy screeched at Lavender, pointing at the door.

"Oh, no, no, they really went this way." Lavender insisted.

"Sure, sure, let's go." Pansy replied, giving in. "Idiot," She mumbled.

Lavender skipped off in the direction she swore she saw them go. Before Pansy followed, she leaned towards the door.

"Don't worry, Drackey-poo, I'll come back for you. Believe me, I will." She whispered and then went off with an oh-so-sure Lavender.

* * *

Both giving sighs of relief, Draco and Harry tried for the door. Harry's hand reached the handle first.

"Uh-oh…" He said, pulling a bit harder on the knob.

"What do you _mean_, 'uh-oh,' Potter?" Draco asked.

"What I _mean_ Malfoy, is that the door is stuck." Harry replied bitterly, rattling the door in emphasis.

"Ugh, let me try, Potter, obviously I'm stronger than you are." Draco retorted, pushing Harry out of the way.

Harry scoffed. "Not likely." He said under his breath.

"What was that, Potter?" Draco said over his shoulder.

"Oh, nothing." Harry smirked.

A few sharp comments, door abuse, and moments later, both Draco and Harry decided that it was pointless and took to sitting on the floor, glaring the door to death…

A few awkward, silent minutes after that, Draco tried to strike up a conversation.

"So, uh, Harry… Have you, uh, heard of this website called _Fanfiction . net_?"

Looking over at Draco with a curious look, Harry replied. "No, never heard of it. Why, what about it?"

"W-well… You know… We're kind of just a movie. A very popular movie at that…and people, well, have been writing some…_interesting_ things about us…"

"Like what?" Harry asked, scooting closer to Draco.

"U-uh, um, l-like…you…a-and…I, we, uh, well, we…kind of…did…_stuff_."

"What kind of stuff, like…be friends or something?" Harry asked innocently.

Draco coughed. "Um, well, sure. That and a few…other kind of relations…"

"Oh…_oh_." Harry's eyes widened in realization.

"W-well, um, I was reading this one fanfiction, and well…we were in the same…situation…we are now: locked in a closet…_alone_…_together_…and, uh, _naked_." Draco said suggestively.

Staring at Draco like a deer caught in headlights, Harry proceeded to faint.

* * *

Groaning, Harry's eye flickered open.

"What an awkward dream…" Harry mused.

"What dream, sweetie?" He heard someone ask beside him. Turning his head, Harry was horrified to see a bare chested Draco Malfoy on his side, propped up on his elbow, his lower half being covered by his robes, which was being used as a blanket.

"OH MY GOD!" Harry screamed.

~Fin.

* * *

R&R blah, blah, blah, all Flames will be used to roast marshmallows... :3


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